Marianne

11:21 pm: miraculous update
THIRTEEN THINGS YOU LOVE:
1. writing
2. my friends & family
3. nicholas cage
4. summer
5. smores
6. sunshine
7. bob saget
8. cranberry bread
9. flowers
10. crazy people
11. having my lower back massaged
12. sleeping
13. bright colors

TWELVE MOVIES:
1. american beauty
2. hedwig and the angry inch
3. alice in wonderland
4. fantasia
5. rocky horror picture show
6. lilo & stitch
7. harold and maude
8. fear and loathing in las vegas
9. requiem for a dream
10. o brother where art thou
11. what's eating gilbert grape
12. storm of the century

ELEVEN GOOD BANDS:
1. guns n' roses
2. bob marley and the wailers
3. mars volta
4. led zeppelin
5. porcupine tree
6. pink floyd
7. the who
8. veruca salt
9. nine inch nails
10. massive attack
11. the smiths

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOU:
1. i'm usually not serious
2. i try not to talk about myself (ignore the irony of where I just said that)
3. i put mustard on pretty much everything i eat
4. i'm happiest when i'm just hanging out with the people i love
5. i'm terrible at expressing my emotions
6. i like to analyze strangers
7. i like to make movies
8. my eyes are always dry
9. i drink an unnaturally large amount of water
10. my personality is pretty much like a sponge, i absorb a little bit of everything and roll it into one

NINE GOOD FRIENDS:
1. pat
2. sarah
3. caitlin
4. becca
5. tarah
6. jess
7. heather
8. steve
9. my dad

EIGHT FAVORITE FOODS/DRINKS:
1. mustard
2. popcorn
3. fondue
4. buffalo chicken
5. pier pizza
6. tacos
7. pasta
8. hot chocolate

SEVEN THINGS YOU WEAR DAILY:
1. a bra
2. mascara
3. underwear
4. my ring with my birthstone
5. cartilage earrings
6. deodarant
7. necklace

SIX THINGS THAT YOU HATE
1. rude/mean people/bullies
2. know-it-alls
3. snorting (not like laughing, like when someone needs a tissue but instead they snort)
4. my own pessimism
5. pimples
6. loud chewing

FIVE THINGS YOU DO DAILY:
1. sleep
2. laugh
3. hug my dog
4. think
5. sanitize my hands with purell about 50 times

FOUR TELEVISION SHOWS YOU WATCH:
1. full house
2. boy meets world
3. even stevens
4. house

THREE THINGS YOU WANT:
1. hugh laurie
2. my nose pierced
3. a lifetime supply of bone-suckin mustard

TWO THINGS YOU SAY OFTEN:
1. shit i'm late
2. that's weird

ONE PERSON YOU COULD SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH:
1. Patrick Evans

11:01 pm:

1. Copy and post in your LJ.
2. BOLD anything that is true.
3. Leave plain anything that is not true.
4. Add something.


001. I miss somebody right now.
002. I watch more tv than I used to.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping.
005. I own lots of books.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games.
008. I've tried marijuana.
009. I've watched porn movie.
010. I have been in a threesome.
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I believe honesty is the best policy.
013. I have acne free skin. mostly
014. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
015. I curse frequently.
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
017. I have a hobby.
018. I've been told I have a nice butt.
019. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
020. I'm really, really smart.
021. I've never broken anyone else's bones.
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
023. I love rain.
024. I'm paranoid at times.
025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free
of cost, and scar-free.
026. I need money right now.
027. I love sushi.
028. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
029. I have fresh breath in the morning.
030. I have semi-long hair.
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
033. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
034. I shave my legs.
035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
038. I like the way that I look.
039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
040. I know how to do cornrows.
041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings.
043. I think prostitution should be legalized.
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
045. I have cheated on a significant other.
046. I have a hidden talent.
047. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I think that I'm popular.
049. I am currently single.
050. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
051. I enjoy talking on the phone.
052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
053. I love to shop.
054. I would rather shop than eat.
055. I would classify myself as ghetto.
056. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. I'm obsessed with my LJ!
058. I don't hate anyone.
059. I'm a pretty good dancer.
060. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
061. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a cell phone.
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. I have never been in a real relationship before.
068. I've rejected someone before.
069. I currently have a crush on someone.
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future.
072. I have changed a diaper before.
073. I've had the cops called on me before.
074. I bite my nails.
075. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
076. I'm not allergic to anything deadly.
077. I have a lot to learn.
078. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger. EWWW!
079. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
080. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
081. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
082. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
083. I have tried alcohol before.
084. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
085. I own the "SOUTH PARK" movie.
086. I have avoided assignments to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
087. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
088. I enjoy country music.
089. I love my best friend.
090. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
091. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
092. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
093. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
094. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
095. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
096. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
097. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
098. I have dated a close friend's ex.
099. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. I Have a crush on somebody I have never met.
102. I've kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.
103. I play a musical instrument.
104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating on something right now.
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in "lust" more than in "love."
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest things ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the tv show "Lost."
111. I am resentful that I have to grow up.
112. I am an entirely different person around different people.
113. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often.
114. I think ramen is the best kind of food in the whole world.
115. I am suffering of a broken heart.
116. I am a nerd.
117. No matter where I am or who I'm with, I always seem to be lonely.
118. I am left handed and proud of it.
119. I don't change who I am for someone else.
120. My heart resides below my feet.
121. I am a Senior in High School.
122. I enjoy smoothies.
123. I have gastritis.
124. I have nothing better to do with my time.
125. I am listening to Radiohead right now.
126. Most people call me by my middle name.
127. I once stole a music stand.
128. Pi confuses me.
129. I love NASCAR!
130. I own a over 200 CDs.
131. I work 7 days a week.
132. I have mono.
132. I dont have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.
133. People tell me I have a horrible sense of humor.
134. I'm only wearing underwear.
135. I had more than one Thanksgiving dinner this year.
136. I've driven to a different state to see a band I like.
137. Rootbeer is the best soda in the world.
138. Music is my life.
139. I love to paint.
140. I am annoyed by the notion of having to be politically correct.
141. I have the entire series of a tv show. Either on tv or on my computer.
142. My biggest fan is Bob Hope.
143. I have been to a foreign country that is not in the Americas.
144. I have at least 3 animals.
145. I am planning on waiting at Barnes and Noble the night that "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" comes out.

146. I voted for Bush.

147. I was accepted to my first choice collge.
148. I think that pants with words like “Hottie” and “flirt” across the butt should be outlawed.

11:18 pm: A prime example of my father's unsurpassable wit.... Read it!!
The formatting is slightly messed up but there's nothing I can do because word processors always think they are right and it's insanely annoying


Political Correctness Analysis of Holiday Song "Frosty The Snowman"

(PO2 = "potentially offensive to")


Frosty the Snowman, was a jolly happy soul,
sexist PO2 persons PO2 non-believers
suffering from
depression

With a corncob pipe and a button nose, and two eyes made of coal.
?? !! PO2 persons !!
with small noses

Frosty the Snowman, is a fairytale, they say.
sexist PO2 gay PO2 rumormongers
persons

He was made of snow, but the children know he came to life one day.
sexist sexist PO2 advocates of choice

There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found,
PO2 religious !!
fundamentalists

For when they placed it on his head, he began to dance around!
sexist sexist

Oh, Frosty, the Snowman, was alive as he could be;
sexist ! sexist

and the children say he could laugh and play, just the same as you and me.
sexist PO2 persons
suffering from
depression

Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump, thump,
PO2 persons with artificial limbs

look at Frosty go.

Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump, thump,
PO2 persons with artificial limbs

over the hills of snow.
PO2 older persons

Frosty the Snowman, knew the sun was hot that day,
sexist

so he said, "Let's run, and we'll have some fun now, before I melt away."
sexist PO2 persons who use wheelchairs PO2 persons
suffering from
anorexia

Down to the village, with a broomstick in his hand,
!! PO2 wiccans sexist

Running here and there, all around the square, sayin', "Catch me if you can."

He led them down the streets of town, right to the traffic cop;
sexist derogatory term

and only paused a moment, when he heard him holler, "Stop!"
sexist sexist law enforcement officer
behavior stereotype

For Frosty, the Snowman, had to hurry on his way,
sexist sexist

But he waved goodbye, sayin' "Don't cry, I'll be back again some day."
sexist




Inoffensive Version of song:

Frosty The Snowbeing

Frosty the Snowbeing, was a creature who had the good fortune not to suffer
from depression, which is an officially-recognized illness, the victims of
which deserve no blame.

With a corncob (this is not to imply that other vegetables are not equally
nutritious to corn) pipe (for decorative purposes only - no tobacco product
was ever actually ignited therein) and a nose, and two eyes made of
environmentally-friendly low sulfer coal.

Frosty the Snowbeing, is a story out of the past, it is said by those in a
position to know.

Frosty was made of snow, but the children know Frosty came to life one day,
although no one can determine the precise time at which this event occurred.

There must have been some special power, whose origin possibly was from a
source beyond human understanding, in that old silk (produced by free-range
silkworms fed with organic silkworm feed with no artificial growth enhancement
factors or antibiotics added) hat (made by adult garment workers laboring
under non-oppressive conditions, and being paid a fair wage that allows them
to provide for their families) they found,

For when they placed it on Frosty's head, Frosty began to dance around!

Oh, Frosty, the Snowbeing, was alive as Frosty could be, and had been since
the aforementioned inexact moment;

and the children say Frosty could laugh and play, just the same as any person
whose medical condition does not preclude such activities.

noises of movement are heard

look at Frosty go.

noises of movement are heard

beyond the elevated areas of snow.

Frosty the Snowbeing, knew the sun was hot that day,

so Frosty said, "Let's go as quickly as possible using whatever means of
locomotion are available to each of us, and we'll have some fun now, before I
cease to exist due to the physical effect of the sun's radiation on snow.

Down to the minimal social unit required for successful child rearing, Frosty
headed, carrying a sweeping implement,

Running here and there, all around the square, sayin', "Catch me if you can."

Frosty led them down the streets of town, right to the law enforcement officer
performing traffic control duties;

and only paused a moment, when Frosty heard said officer issue a directive to
cease moving temporarily in order to facilitate the flow of traffic.

For Frosty, the Snowbeing, had to hurry on the way that Frosty had to go,

But Frosty waved goodbye, sayin' "Don't cry, I'll be back again some day."

-By Peter Ferrara

05:32 pm: stole this from Caitlin and it was fun filling it out...so therefore you will all enjoy filling it out for me


Post a memory (or multiple ones) of me in the comments.
It can be anything you want.
Then post this to your journal and see what people remember of you.


Do iiiiiiit.....

12:01 am: I have been so ridiculously busy lately. Updating feels so...foreign. And for all of it, I really have nothing to say. I haven't exactly been busy with INTERESTING things. I quit stop and shop though. *celestial voices fill the air as a beautiful golden hue descends from the sky* Rick can't seem to accept it. He keeps asking if maybe I worked less hours I would stay? I have trouble believing him. He'd do it for like a week and then I'd be on a million hours a week again. See, the decision wouldn't be so easy if I didn't hate the job itself so much.

I was talking with my dad about this the other night, though. For all the ways I hate it, I have to admit it's taught me a lot about life and the human race. I used to have a lot of faith in people. I used to whole heartedly believe that everyone was capable of some kind of profound intelligence in some tiny hidden corner of their hearts. But I don't believe that anymore. I think there are a lot of people like that, but as a whole, there's really nothing vastly special about the human race. We're annoying, we rush too much, we don't stop to consider things. We're the "superior beings" and all of that, but in so many ways we're just slaves to ourselves. Stop and shop has taught me what things are worth getting upset about or annoyed by, and, most things aren't. It's also singlehandedly smashed my naive fantasies about every last one of us being aware of our own capacities for intelligence and willingness to appreciate the world around us. Morbid, I know. But you know what? I could write a book about everything that has now come to annoy me about people since I started working there.

All in all though, I can't get upset about it, because I wanted to be a harder person. I got my wish. I wanted to stop being so sensitive, I wanted to be calloused, I didn't want to be hurt by people anymore. I wished I were rougher around the edges, and now I am. So, thanks, I guess. It's taught me patience and the importance of choosing your battles carefully. It's like there's a bunch of life lessons that most people would learn slowly throughout their lives and then pass on to their disinterested grandchildren, and I've learned it all early on and gotten it out of the way. I guess you could say I was looking for it. And you can always be taught if you're looking to learn.

Anyway, I'm supposed to be assessing two competing companies for finance right now. I just can't bring myself to put my financial opinion about the reliability of the McDonald's corporation into words right now. I'm too tired. And then there's the task of doing the entire thing over again for Burger King. Who cares? We all know Burger King gives out cardboard crowns, and McDonald's doesn't, and nothing else really matters, when you really get down to it. Isn't life, in a way, all about who gives out the crowns and who doesn't?


Yes. It is.

09:53 pm: I cannot concentrate. I do not want to concentrate. I do not want to write this stupid essay. Gah. Ink stink poop fart. There. That is my essay. Eat that. Eat your heart out, Mrs. Kirby. I hate essays. I heart not writing essays. Boo. Essays BLOW. They blow like the wind. Which is very blowy.

04:29 pm: I hate it when I don't feel like listening to anything on the computer but I'm too lazy to go upstairs and get a cd. WhatEVER shall I do? I bought Ren & Stimpy on dvd yesterday. It rules my LIFE. That's not true. But it's wicked enjoyable *said in brooklyn accent while chomping gum*.

I bought Buffalo wings and I was all excited, having Sarah in mind, and I got home from work all ready to make them and I called her to come join me in buffalo wing extravaganzas while watching Ren and Stimpy, but she was at the Patriots game. Crazy Sarah. It was weird to hear over the phone. It sounded like a bunch of planes were landing nearby her.

There's a pencil on the computer desk right now that says "HAPPY 80TH BIRTHDAY, TOLA" It is... SO RANDOM. Like I can't think of anything that would possibly make it any less random.

Clearly I have nothing interesting to say.

I am glad I did not go to homecoming. Sort of. It would have been okay, but instead I spent the time with the love of my life. *girly sigh* I have yet to talk to anyone that actually went. Well, that's not true, Sarah just called. But I forgot to ask her how it went. So technically I have talked to someone that went, but was left with no information as to how it was. Sometimes I put way too much effort into saying things that I know are completely uninteresting. I'm just rambling because I feel like I owe a long entry. But honestly, nothing wildly exciting has happened in my life. I have no actual "update," just elongated ramblings about nothing in particular. Isn't that what life's all about though? Isn't life just one elongated rambling about nothing in particular? Yes. It is. Think about it... *points creepily to temple with crazed look in eye*

Floyd is dead, he's nothing but a cripple, cause Millie took that paper and sliced him on the nipple...

Aaaah, who else can legitimately rhyme "cripple" with "nipple" but Phish? NO ONE. THAT'S WHO.

Caitlin if you're reading this, what are you doing for your essay?????????? I really, honestly, truly cannot think of ANYTHING good to do. So I will steal your idea, whatever it may be. That's not true. But maybe it will inspire me.

HAHAHA oh god...too funny...
I didn't even realize Glenn was home until just now from the other room he suddenly goes "Marianne do you have Ren & Stimpy down here?" I don't even have to get up and look to know that he's all sprawled out lazily across the couch, the lights are off because he was too lazy to turn them on, and he's eating a bowl of ice cream. I don't even have to LOOK. I just know. Anyway I just hear his voice as though it is an extreme effort to speak, "Marianne do you have Ren & Stimpy down here" and I yelled back "No it's upstairs, you wanna watch it?" Then all of a sudden in the room in between you just hear this ridiculously loud machine noise come on and take over the house as my dad turns on the table saw (I have no idea what he's doing). Like one minute later the noise has finally faded out and from the other room I just hear "not really" Then it comes back on and takes like a minute and a half to be quiet again and I hear "actually maybe"

Okay, it's not as funny when you're just sitting there reading it, you have to have the mental picture of his laziness and him being too lazy to raise his voice.

I think I will go draw. I'll use the 80TH BIRTHDAY, TOLA pencil to do it

11:50 am: I have internet in my room now! Now all I need is a better desk chair. This is grossly uncomfortable.

My dad won't stop clearing his throat and it's honestly driving me insane. Like every two seconds. And it's forceful, not just like an "ahem" type thing. He's like coughing and everything. It's obnoxious. Like I went out to my car in the freezing coldness of my pajamas and walked across the wet grass in bare feet to get my cd player so I wouldn't hear him. It's ridiculous. Little things like that bother me so much more than things that are conventionally annoying. It's sad, one of the main reasons I can't wait to move out next year and go to college is so I won't have to hear him snorting any more. It's pathetic how badly it annoys me. Like it crawls right under my skin, and I have to live with it 24/7. ~end rant~

Heh, hope he doesn't read that!

Well I will NOT see anyone at homecoming tonight, as apparently tickets are no longer available at the door. Who would have thought?! If only I had known that yesterday morning, I would have brought money. But no. Eh. I will find some other source of entertainment. Probably. Maybe I won't. Who knows.

01:03 pm: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh! I can't wait for next, next weekend. SALEM!!! I'm so proud of us, we're always coming up with great plans and not putting them into action, but this time we did! Aaaaah

My throat is better today. Just so you know.

Latelyyyyyyy
I can't seeeeeeeem
To COLOR WHAT WE'VE LOOOOOOOST
It all seeeeeeeeems
Like bad DREEEEEEEEAMS
When LOVERS TURN FROM LUUUUUUUST

Oh god I love this song...and god I love my mood icon...hehe, check him out

01:17 pm: Ouch. My throat hurts. Tremendously. It feels like it did when I had my tonsils out, to a slightly lesser degree. But it's nasty. I wonder if I always swallow this often when my throat is normal but I don't notice it, or if having a wicked sore throat makes you need to swallow every few seconds and it's just more obvious because it's like excruciating. I wake up this morning and look at it, it's all green and white and disgusting. So my dad took me to the treatment center and they determined that I do not have strepp throat and concluded in many, many unnecessary words that there was nothing they could do. So I came home and ate chicken soup and ice cream and halls fruit breezers. :)

I have nothing interesting to say, really.

02:20 pm: Smartfood popcorn should be illegal. It's too good. But alas, like most things, it has it's side effects. Like the fact that the cheese congeals on your fingers and forms a layer that smells for at least an hour even after you've washed it off. But it's so delicious. I have skirted the ways of eating Smartfood today, however. I have been tipping the bag into my mouth. Who would have thought?!

Yesterday was awesome. What did I ever do before I had my license? Unimaginable.

Anyone who reads this today - 10/03/04 - come into stop and shop sometime between 4:30 and 9:00 and make my job just slightly less resemblant of hell. Please.

Mmm...smartfood

09:06 pm: I love conversations between more than two people in
which no one is paying any attention to each other.  If you read
it carefully, each individual is making perfect sense, but the
conversation collectively is nonsensical because no one is listening to
any one else.



I think this about says it all:



You have just entered room "Chat 11182380313422929580."

ubersartho has entered the room.

xxinxthexrainxx has entered the room.

xxinxthexrainxx: ignore that comment

half0shadows: Yes, a verbal gang band

ubersartho: oh i will

xxinxthexrainxx: about verbal gang baging

half0shadows: *bang...hahaha

xxinxthexrainxx: *banging

ubersartho: haha

ubersartho: we should start a verbal gnag band

ubersartho: i mean gang

xxinxthexrainxx: that'd be a cool band name

half0shadows: this takes up much less space on my screen

xxinxthexrainxx: verbal gang band

ubersartho: no, i mean gnag

xxinxthexrainxx: haha

xxinxthexrainxx: actually

half0shadows: wow, why can't any of us spell gang bang

ubersartho: heh?

xxinxthexrainxx: it sounds really ghetto

ubersartho: lol

ubersartho: it's hard to say too

xxinxthexrainxx: so NOW what do i do!!!

half0shadows: guys, I want more swedish fish so bad

half0shadows: um....

half0shadows: like I said

ubersartho: come in to cvs after 4!

half0shadows: LET NOTHING STAND IN YOUR WAY

xxinxthexrainxx: maybe on the way up to prov

half0shadows: MAUH HAHAHAHA

xxinxthexrainxx: i will stop and say hi

ubersartho: haha

xxinxthexrainxx: and get a red bull

xxinxthexrainxx: hahaha

ubersartho: why are you going to providence?

xxinxthexrainxx: imax

xxinxthexrainxx: FORCES OF NATURE

ubersartho: wow i need to balance this out by being all timid

xxinxthexrainxx: i dunno...

half0shadows: oh hey did you hear from adam, I need to know really soon because I want to get the ad online as soon as possible

xxinxthexrainxx: i mean yes...

ubersartho: like...um, well, maybe you could just sort of um talk about it? maybe?

half0shadows: hahaha

ubersartho: come on!

half0shadows: no...we need nothing but FORCE!!

ubersartho: it's loooooovely weather

xxinxthexrainxx: oh yeah he
said that a slipping gear could be caused by lots of things and that
auto shops LOVE to tell people the whole transmission is broken because
it's so caustly

half0shadows: see, no one responds to timidness

ubersartho: for a sleighride

ubersartho: together with you

ubersartho: what?

xxinxthexrainxx: *costly

half0shadows: i see

ubersartho: haha caustly

ubersartho: wait what are you guys doing today?

half0shadows: sitting on my ass

xxinxthexrainxx: nothing til 530

xxinxthexrainxx: or so

xxinxthexrainxx: and anyway he said

ubersartho: are you both going to providence?!

ubersartho: whores?!

half0shadows: no

half0shadows: her and adam are

half0shadows: whore

ubersartho: oh

ubersartho: *awkward*

ubersartho: well, marianne lets you and me go to providence

half0shadows: HAHAHA

half0shadows: you have to work

ubersartho: not today, not today, not todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

xxinxthexrainxx: that if
you wanted to take him for a drive he might be able to tell you,
because there is a chance the entire transmission isn't broken

half0shadows: tomorrow?

half0shadows: OH GOD

half0shadows: that would be wonderful

ubersartho: after four theeeerty?

half0shadows: sure

xxinxthexrainxx: and then he named like 5 things it could be

ubersartho: wow

xxinxthexrainxx: in order of time and costlyness

ubersartho: i love online sarcasm

xxinxthexrainxx: but if it is indeed teh entire transmission

half0shadows: who was being sarcastic?

xxinxthexrainxx: then no he cant fix it cause its a ridiculous job

ubersartho: you? i thought?

half0shadows: I really don't think it's the entire transmission

half0shadows: personally

ubersartho: yeah

xxinxthexrainxx: he said

half0shadows: but what do I know, that's why I took the guys word for it

ubersartho: who's car are we talking about?

half0shadows: mine

ubersartho: ah

ubersartho: clearly

ubersartho: i'll just shutup

half0shadows: and the possibility of having adam look at it

half0shadows: heh, that would be best

xxinxthexrainxx: there was even a commercial on awhile ago that made fun of how much mechanics love to say broken transmission

xxinxthexrainxx: so

half0shadows: hmm

ubersartho: lol

half0shadows: *strokes chin*

xxinxthexrainxx: maybe you're just being played

xxinxthexrainxx: for a fool

half0shadows: this is seriously like a ray of light right now, you have no idea

xxinxthexrainxx: MAYBE...and maybe not

xxinxthexrainxx: who knows

half0shadows: I know

xxinxthexrainxx: dont get your hopes up toooo much

half0shadows: Im gettin my hopes up

half0shadows: HAHAHA

xxinxthexrainxx: oh god

xxinxthexrainxx: lol

half0shadows: wow

ubersartho: hehe

xxinxthexrainxx: OOOO closer just came on upstairs

xxinxthexrainxx: on la radio

half0shadows: nice

xxinxthexrainxx: YOU LET ME VIOLATE YOU

ubersartho: ohohoh, just a little bit closer

half0shadows: sarah

xxinxthexrainxx: when you said 'group thing with sarah?' i was so confused

half0shadows: eh

ubersartho: okay clearly i'm adding nothing to this conversation

half0shadows: yeah

ubersartho: heh?

xxinxthexrainxx: hahahah

ubersartho: what?

half0shadows: yes you are!

half0shadows: you are adding so much

half0shadows: I can't even handle it

xxinxthexrainxx: I WANT TO F YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL

ubersartho: wait why'd you say sarah earlier?

half0shadows: and that is why I do not respond

half0shadows: I don't know

ubersartho: lolololol

half0shadows: oh cause your song was so different

half0shadows: what WHAT

xxinxthexrainxx: I WOULD FAIN STROKE YOUR CHEEK

ubersartho: that you

xxinxthexrainxx: YOU GET ME CLOSER TO GOD

ubersartho: i mean thank you

ubersartho: haha faid

half0shadows: you're welcome:-)

ubersartho: fain

ubersartho: damn

ubersartho: i can't spell in here

ubersartho: okay i have to go get ready for weeeeeeerk

xxinxthexrainxx: EW

xxinxthexrainxx: whoa sorry

half0shadows: whoa, I
really meant to put an exclamation point after you're welcome, and
didn't realize my typo till I sent, but it worked out well

xxinxthexrainxx: i mean ew

xxinxthexrainxx: HAHAHA

half0shadows: okaaaaaay

ubersartho: lol

xxinxthexrainxx: not that funny.

ubersartho: wow that did work out

ubersartho: okay but seriously you gouys?

xxinxthexrainxx: I WANT TO LICK YOUR BOSOMS

half0shadows: yes?

half0shadows: oh god

xxinxthexrainxx: ^mocking sarah

ubersartho: come in to cvs today erouyt?

xxinxthexrainxx: okay!

ubersartho: thank you for clarifying cait

ubersartho: LIN

xxinxthexrainxx: hahahah

ubersartho: see you soooooon

xxinxthexrainxx: see you

half0shadows: bye

xxinxthexrainxx: have fun

ubersartho: on the clown of doom

half0shadows: erouyt?

ubersartho: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xxinxthexrainxx: ????????????????????

ubersartho: i'll explain it when you come in

xxinxthexrainxx: hahahah

half0shadows: haha

ubersartho: heh?

xxinxthexrainxx: GO

ubersartho: fine!

half0shadows: that's clever, cause I really will come in just for the explanation

xxinxthexrainxx: I WANT TO F YOU

ubersartho: i see how it is!

ubersartho: oh my go

ubersartho: d

ubersartho: okay

ubersartho: bye

ubersartho has left the room.

xxinxthexrainxx: bye

half0shadows: aw

xxinxthexrainxx: oh

xxinxthexrainxx: i missed her

half0shadows: yes

half0shadows: you did

xxinxthexrainxx: i dont feel like leaving

xxinxthexrainxx: the chatroom

half0shadows: me either

xxinxthexrainxx: despite the presence of onlyus

half0shadows:  be wild if someone was named "onlyus"

xxinxthexrainxx: i am so lazy

xxinxthexrainxx: its insane

half0shadows: same here

xxinxthexrainxx: oh wow i stopped at npc

xxinxthexrainxx: and picked up checks

half0shadows: there's no way he could come early tonight and go for a quick ride, is there

xxinxthexrainxx: and she got all snippy with me about handing in my uniform within 48 hours

half0shadows: that's weird

xxinxthexrainxx: i doubt it we're running on a wicked tight schedule cause the thing starts at 530

half0shadows: kay

xxinxthexrainxx: and he usually doesn't even get out til then

xxinxthexrainxx: but i'll coaxe and plead

half0shadows: no don't

xxinxthexrainxx: and lick.

half0shadows: oh god

xxinxthexrainxx: hahaha just kidding

half0shadows: I mean I don't want him to go out of his way, he'd be doing me a huge favor as is

xxinxthexrainxx: yes that was creepy

xxinxthexrainxx: verily

xxinxthexrainxx: eh he's down this way like every night anyway im sure he'll come check it out as soon as we get a chance

half0shadows: like you don't understand, I am in this financial cloud of doom and all of a sudden there is like this tiny hole in the clouds

half0shadows: swit

xxinxthexrainxx: it's like a pinprick though

xxinxthexrainxx: so

xxinxthexrainxx: beware





~*FIN*~

02:18 pm: Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to meeeee, happy birthday to me!

Actually it was yesterday but I was too busy having an awesome birthday to update!

aaaah I'm 17

11:46 pm: "She gives him loving that his body can't handle but all he can say is baby it's good to me" -hottest line ever

Well, maybe not EVER.

So I have to get a new car. Already. I honestly have been crying about it. Not like constantly, but there were definitely a few minutes there. I can't even describe how frustrating this is. I spent everything I had on that car, and there was no reason I should have believed that to be a bad idea. Granted it's a 94, but that's not so old that it should be assumed that it would have problems. It had less than 60k on it when I bought it. 58something. It was in perfect condition. What the hell. Why. I have barely had this car for six months and I've already spent a huge amount of money replacing half the brake system, and plus my own time fixing the stereo system and the body. Not that that was a HUGE amount of time, but it was a lot of effort. But the worst part is the fact that, as dorky as it is, I love that car so much. It's like, emotional connection. I had full expectations of that car and I having good times at LEAST until I was finished with college. It's been SIX MONTHS. The fact of the matter is, however, that the money it's going to cost me to fix the transmission is well over a quarter of what I paid for the car in the first place, and it's not gauranteed that other systems won't start to have problems even after that. I really, really can't live with the thought of throwing the rest of the money I have saved into rebuilding the transmission only to start having engine problems or something. So the fact is that there is nothing I can do about it, and that's frustrating as all hell. But I just have to accept it, because I guess that's all you can ever do when there is only one logical choice put before you.

There is no way I will get a decent car with the money I will get from selling mine plus what I have saved. I will get a car with that money, but it will be a foolish investment and I'm not going to do it. I'm either going to have to live without one, which seems a physical impossibility after having gotten so used to having one, or take out a loan and get something newer. Fuck. I don't want to do either. At all. Blah. Another loss. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....................kasdjfkjasjldf aljksad

Twenty years from now it won't matter, right? I know. But that doesn't help me today, does it. No. It does not. Poop fart ink stink

And that is all I have to say about that.

Labyrinth party tomorrow.......Not sure if it's at Sarah's or Jen's, so I guess I'll just leave early and go to both if my first choice is incorrect. No. I will not call. Are you crazy? What a stupid idea.

THE SIMS 2 IS THE MOST AMAZING GAME whoa caps ever created by the hands of man.

Glah. Blah+Gah=Glah. I have nothing interesting to say except that...well, no, that's not interesting either, but I will say it anyway...I baked a cake today and was ridiculed by my family for meticulously spreading the frosting until it was perfectly smooth all around. But I persevered. And you know what? That cake is SMOOTH, baby. And I'll bet you anything it tastes better because of it. Although I did feel like a failure when there was a tiny eggshell fragment in my piece. But no one had to know about that. Now that everyone who's weird enough to be reading this knows. Well, I'm not perfect okay?! GLAH!

This song rules.

You know what doesn't rule though? Stop and shop. It occured to me recently that I'm not just annoyed by Sean anymore, it's gone way past me forcing myself to be polite. I absolutely cannot stand that fricking kid. Like it's not even funny. Everything about him just annoys the hell out of me. And I can't stand Derek either. Where's Bethany right now, we could be venting together. Gah. I am tempted to just go in someday wearing every piece of jewely I own just to make sure that Sean is so predictable as to compliment each and every one of them individually. I have yet to wear any kind of necklace, ring, hairstyle, or other fashion accessory that he has not pathetically kissed my ass over.

Him: I like your necklace.
Me: Thanks. *not looking up*
Him: I love the rubies in it.
Me: *staring blankly at him in my hemp necklace* They're beads.
Him: Oh haha I know. It's really pretty.
Me: *silence*
Him: So everyone's character for dungeons and dragons is finished but yours.
Me: *ignores him, incredulous at his still not having taken the flipping hint, now that its been over two weeks*
Five Minutes Later
Him: *being relentless* Sod'ja hear what I said before?
Me: Uh huh.
Him: Okay, well...
At that moment Elyza comes to give me my break, and I praise the heavens

That conversation is a very poor example of how obnoxious he is, now that I look at it. But rest assured, I really cannot stand him. At all. Goodbye.

11:34 pm: This must be what love is.

02:07 am: So I was just in the bathroom.


That's all.

No, I'm just kidding. I saw this wee little coffee table book next to the toilet which I noticed I had not seen around before. It was amazing that I picked up on this, as my mother's coffee table book collection is so vast one would think I could have become oblivious to any new additions. But it was just so colorful that I picked it up and started reading it. I will now express my feelings and social commentaries on this book in a page-by-page analysis. Prepare for some lengthy writing.


"The Little Family," by Lois Lenski, 1932

First page.
"Here is the LIttle Family. Mar. and Mrs. Little. Sally and Tommy Little.
Second page.
Picture of Man with enormous ears in 3-button gray suit with side parted, vibrantly blonde hair with matching mustache turned downwards giving off appearance of frown; slightly shorter woman with same color hair in conservative green dress and hands folded in front of waist; chubby little girl with pixie cut blonde hair, no ears, pudgy knees, an dtee-shaped pink dress with white collar; same height boy with sailor outfit on in which pants are hiked up to shoulders, same face as mom's except for nose and hair same color and part as dad's.

COMMENTS.
At first glance, I did not see the yellow coloring of man's mustache and thought it was white, his teeth exposed in an angry grimace, and thought there was going to be some interesting plot twists because the rest of his family was smiling so contentedly.

Third page.
The Littles live in a little house. It had doors and windows and a chimney on top.
Fourth page.
Picture of house the size of a cardboard box with yellow sun rising over green roofind and pink chimney, one fully-foliaged tree on each side of perfectly grromed green lawn, implying summer weather.

COMMENTS.
The chimney is spurting a perfectly vertical stream of gray smoke which ends abruptly before reaching top of the page. Either the house is on fire or these people have a rare disorder in which they are freezing cold year-round. The windows are black with white drapes around, implying total darkness inside except for spotlights on the curtains, though it is broad daylight outside. I feel that maybe there is something about the Littles that we are not being told about. Again, I anticipate extreme plot twists and am fully hopeful as to the outcome of this book. Also, somebody must have forgotten to take the doorknob out when they were painting the front door, because it too is pink.

Fifth page.
It is seven o' clock. Sally and Tommy get up. The sun in shining.
Sixth page.
Picture of sun rays coming in through window on whose sill sits an alarm clock with hands reading precisely seven o clock. Girl is sitting on edge of bed located at most one foot from other bed, on whose side boy is sitting and whose posture implies stretching and yawning. Boy's bed sheets are spilling onto floor, pink pajama-matching slippers sit underneath girls bed, who has one hair out of place and is looking out window.

COMMENTS.
Perhaps an incestuous relationship? If so, actions took place in brother's bed, as teddy bear is lying on floor among fallen bedsheets. Boy's mouth is shaped as an "o" and hands are raised upwards with open palms facing the ceiling, implying a "raise the roof" gesture. There are no cobwebs beneath either of the bed, implying a possible obsessive compulsive disorder within the family. Hopes for plot twists high.

Seventh page.
Sally brushers her teeth. Tommy puts on his shoes and stockings. Mrs. Little helps.
Eighth page.
Blue bathroom with beaming mother on knees holding black shoe as Tommy sits with raised eyebrows on stool, looking disinterested and perplexed while Sally brushes teeth, arm fat exploding as she holds out cup towards back-turned mother, looking expectant.

COMMENTS.
Ha. Dumbass. Sally didn't need help putting on HER shoes. However, I don't know what she plans to do once she finishes brushing her teeth, her head barely reaches the underside of the sink. I detect irony in the character of the sink, as it is so out of place in the "Little" residence.

Ninth page.
The Littles eat breakfast. They have prunes and oatmeal. Sally and Tommy are hungry.
Tenth page.
Picture of family eating in yellow kitchen at table whose cloth is too small, in front of window with blue drapes, contradicting what we've been perviously led to believe about the color of the Littles' drapes.

COMMENTS.
Tommy and Sally's feet don't even reach the second rung of the chair, implying either incredibly awkward current sitting positions or new meaning to their last name. Father is holding bowl up to Sally's face, who is beaming with joy, suggesting possible control over children's diets; there is no plate in front of Tommy whose eyes are closed and face looks dejected, suggesting favoritism and forced starvation.

Eleventh page.
Tommy has a dog. Sally had a cat. They take good care of them. The dog likes bones. The cat likes milk.
Twelfth page.
Two-branched tree with bird on each branch, completely unphased by cat directly below; object in Tommy's hand above dog sitting on stool that appears to be a brown rod of some sort, dog looks sad, making us think that possibly he is withholding food from the dog, with his finger of his other hand pointing mockingly at dog's face; Sally holding pitcher and staring down at unhealthily-colored cat lapping at oversized yellow plate.

COMMENTS.
I think Tommy's cruelty to the dog in not giving him the bone is a clear reflection of the pain he has felt from hsi own family withholding food from him at breakfast.

Thirteenth page.
Mr. Little goes to town. Sally and Tommy wave good-bye.
Fourteenth page.
Man in gray suit with bowler hat, white gloves and cane marching defiantly away from wounded looking chihldren with hands held out, sitting on white picket fence.

COMMENTS.
I sense some hostility in Mr. Little towards his children judging by the flushed look of his cheeks and angry posture of his eyebrows and he stalks off, back turned away from waving children.

Fifteenth page.
Mes. Little sweeps the floor. Sally helps her mother. She holds the dustpan and the brush.
Sixteenth page.
Yellow room with no furniture being swept by mother in purple plaid apron with no straps on top and matching head scarf covering hair, with Sally in matching cleaning outfit that she has clearly grown out of to the point where if she were not wearing her short pink dress underneath we would be able to see her unmentionables; holding out frightening object in one hand that we only know from the text is a dustpan and a brush in the other, staring delightedly at us but doing nothing to help.

COMMENTS.
Sally isn't doing shit. Her mother is right there next to her slaving away and she's just standing there holding things and looking like a jackass. She needs to consider that Mr. Little never explained his reasons for going into town and is probably out banging some much hotter chick, which is his only reason for living as before the only Mrs. Little was the only one who could bring herself to be with a guy so unfortunate to be named "Little," leaving no room for guesswork.

Seventeenth page.
Mrs. Little washes the clothes. She rubs them on the washboard. The water in the tap is hot.
Eighteenth page.
Mrs. Little slaving over a huge sink wearing a different dress than before, this time purple with polka dots, and an entirely new apron, this time starch white, with no particular reason to have changed her clothes. Sally stands behind her and stares into basket with what looks like a ginat marshmallow spewing out of the top. Single black pencil line is drawn curving over itself above the sink, poorly implying heat.

COMMENTS.
In this page we see a softer side of Sally, indoubtedly reflecting on the troubles of her family life. Also, the hunch of Mrs. Little's back implies possible scoliosis, adding to the lists of problems this poor family must face. And somebody better go check on Tommy to make sure he hasn't employed any further torture to the dog.

Nineteenth page.
Mrs. Little hangs out the clothes. The wind i sblowing. Sally has a doll to play with.
Twentieth page.
Empty basket at feet of Mrs. Little in purple dress and white apron which shrunk from ankle-length to hip-length since the last page, hanging clothes on a line which are curved to the side, suggesting wind, and one sock is upturned, suggesting selective areas in which the wind is much stronger. Sally sits on her knees at her mother's feet with a possessed looking doll in her hands looking sideways mischeivously at the hem of her mother's skirt, sitting next to a weed, possibly a cannabis plant judging by the leaf formation.

COMMENTS.
Well. I'm so glad Sally has a doll to play with. But her mother sure doesn't. The woman works, works, works, all day long, with no help. The selective wind tunnels suggest a possible hurricane which there's no way the Little house could survive. Sally is trying to subtely look up her mother's skirt, the sick little girl. Mrs. Little, by keeping her eyes on her work, is clearly trying to blind herself to the fact that her husband is a drug dealer. So THAT'S why he "went to town."

Twenty-first page.
Mrs. little bakes a cake. She mizes it in a yellow bowl. Sally and Tommy watch. They lick the spoon.
Twenty-second page.
Mrs. Little, back in her green dress, has managed from the last scene to grow frills on her apron, which too is back to normal length. Kitchen drapes are now pink and white checkered, and plant on windowsill has also been changed since breakfast. Sally looks demonically at bent spoon as though trying to re-enact a scene from the Matrix in which the little girl bent a spoon with her mind, and Tommy is staring at the yellow bowl brandishing his spoon in the air with masked desperation.

COMMENTS.
I sure hope Tommy's going to get a piece of cake. His legs have gotten thinner since the first page. The poor child is starving to death, and no one even cares.

Twenty-third page.
Mr. Little works in the garden. He spades up the flower bed. Tommy has a wheelbarrow.
Twenty-fourth page.
Wind has ceased. Mr. Little has removed sports coat and proceeded to his yard work in tie, gray suit pants and suspenders. His foot pushes on foreign looking object resembling in no way a spade. Brown piles sit on the ground nearby that are easily mistaken for shit. Tommy is stepping in it as he stares cross-eyed into space holding a red wheelbarrow that is too small to do his father any useful service. Flower bed consists of no flowers.

COMMENTS.
I think, judging by the state of his garden, Mr. Little needs to re-assess his reasoning for turning up the flower bed. What is the purpose in this case? It is not stated. Perhaps he is planting more cannabis as he sold his stock today in town. He appears to be using some of it for himself as he stares at his foot, not noticing his starving child not wearing a shirt in front of him.

Twenty-fifth page.
Mrs. Little goes to market. She carries a basket. Tommy and Sally go with her.
Twenty-sixth page.
Tommy stares at his left hand in awe, as his mother's gloved right hand holds it. He hugs the teddy bear he must have earlier rescued from his floor. Mother has put on pearls and a blue har with matching jacket for the occasion. Sally Carries a tiny yellow purse in one hand, arm flab bulges at her jacket sleeve in the other.

COMMENTS.
Tommy's face implies that this affection he is receiving from his mother is rarely seen. Sally is trying to look much older than she is with that purse, and I can't believe her mother allows it. I notice that the artist's pallate for this book was very limited to yellow, green, and blue. Pink was in scarcity, reserved for the family's cheeks and Sally's dress.

Twenty-seventh page.
Mrs. Little buys sugar, bread, carrots, oranges, and other things. She pats money for them.
Twenty-eighth page.
Man with pen behind ear holds hand out expectantly as Mother fishes through purse with basket of bananas hitherto unmentioned in the text lies at her feet. Children stand behind her benath a bushel of bananas suspended in midair that could fall at any moment and crush them.

COMMENTS.
The salesman's outstretched hand and knowledgeable facial expression suggest that he knows he is about to recieve a good sum of money, as he must know about the Little family's source of income. A green leafy-object is spilling out of his basket of oranges, giving the impression that he is a possible client.

Twenty-ninth page.
Mr. Little has a lawn mower. He cuts the grass. Tommy is riding in his kiddie car.
Thirtieth page.
Sun is shining over Mr Little, still in too-short suit pants, blue tie, and suspenders, pushing what looks like a green pitchfork with huge round object at the end, placed ironically in the picture as to make it seem as though it is actually the wheel of Tommy's "kiddie car," which he is sitting hunched over fervently on, staring wide-eyed and demonically at us.

COMMENTS.
Dad is now too stoned to realize all of the following: grass is spewing up in his direction and about to pelt him in the eyes if it continues on it's current course; his son is just learning to ride a bike right next to him; he is about to run over one of his home grown products, and his shoe is untied. Also, since the beginning of the story, his right leg has gotten much fatter than the left.

Thirty-first page.
Sally has a sprinkling can. She is watering the flowers.
Thirty-second page.
Sally is wearing ridiculous pink sun hat and hunched over diseased looking bed of flowers which her father must have missed, one of which, a yellow one, is growing out of the middle of another flower suspended in mid-air, and another of which, a daisy that she is neglecting with her water flow, is suspended in midair above a bush creepily.

COMMENTS.
The floating flowers suggest possible experimentations by her father in product-enhancement, causing chemical reactions in the soil and resulting in strange occurances with the flowers.

Thirty-third page.
Tommy feeds the chickens. He throws corn on the ground. The rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-do." The hens say, "Cluck, cluck."
Thirty-fourth page.
Picture of chickens looking up expectantly at Tommy holding a bowl of yellow food and sprinkling some down towards them.

COMMENTS.
Yeah, it feels kind of good to do unto others as you would have done unto you, huh Tommy? And since when do the Little's live on a farm?

Thirty-fifth page.
Tommy is tossing his ball. Sally has a book. She likes to look at pictures.
Thirty-sixth page.
Tree from before has grown another branch and ground has turned into a hill. Tommy holds hands out under round object resembling an orange, possibly stolen from the market earlier. Sally looks at untitled book next to drooping yellow flower.

COMMENTS.
Learn to read, Sally. If you're old enough to carry a purse into market you're definitely old enough to recognize words. Chemical experimentations by father making plants look weirder and weirder. Perhaps it's not just cannabis he's growing.

Thirty-seventh page.
THe Littles have an automobile. They are going for a drive. Tommy sits in front with his father. Sally sits in back with her mother.
Thirty-eighth page.
Horribly undersized red contraption with enormous rickity wheels renders the four Littles totally exposed to the air, a convertible with no outer protection. They may as well be riding in a death-box. Everyone's eyebrows are furrowed in anger except for contended, oblivious mother. Sexism is apparent.

COMMENTS.
I wouldn't trust that contraption as far as I could throw it, nevermind with my life and that of my family's. Father is in only up to his waist, and holding tiny circle implied to be a steering wheel. Lines behind tires suggest skidding. Windsheild is unnecessary, as it comes up to his chin. Mother seems not to realise that her clothes have changed again.

Thirty-ninth page.
The automobile goes uphill and downhill. Mr. Little drives the car and toots the horn.
Fourtieth page.
Women in back grip hats as lines implying wind with leaves comes billowing towards them. License plate has appeared on back of car. Rear wheels have lost contact with road. Hill is incredibly mild incline. Mr. Little has index finger angrily jabbing at horn pointlessly. There are no other cars around.

COMMENTS.
THe Littles are probably about to die. In those days there was no such thing as front wheel drive.

Fourty-first page.
The Littles stop under some trees. Mrs. Little opens the lunch basket. They have sandwiches, fruit, and cake.
Fourty-second page.
Mrs. Little is again in apron and holding out plate of multi-colored goop to a slightly disgusted looking Mr. Little. Undersized blanket provides enough sitting room for him and Tommy alone. Huge canteen is at edge. Sally holds mug of yellowish liquid and looks drunkenly off to the side.

COMMENTS.
Tree they stop under strangely resembles one from earlier. It is possible they never left home. Nobody is paying attention to Tommy, who is holding a cup and a brown object possibly food and looking longingly at the food on the blanket. Brown object looks nothing like any of the other food on the blankey, and we are led to believe that he was given some sort of rock or stick to lick at while the rest of the family ate.

Fourty-third page.
The Littles are home again. It is time to go to bed. Sally and Tommy say good night.
Fourty-fourth page.
Mother and father sit opposite each other in crappily-upholstered armchairs with floor lamp inbetween, father holding book. Arm is around Sally, who looks up at his blankly, holding her doll, a different one from this afternoon which she had to play with while her mother hung up the laundry. Mom's arm is on Tommy's shoulder who looks nervously up at her, not even looking back at him, and clutches teddy bear.

COMMENTS.
Tommy's constant clutching of his teddy bear throughout the story suggests a profound lack of confidence in himself, undoubtedly brought on by his cruel family. Mr. Little's failure to smile once throughout the story is either the fault of his downturned mustache which needs to go to begin with, or a reflection of the emptiness he feels inside. Or is the fault of his stoned-ness.

Fourty-fifth page.
And that's all!
Picture of house, now with yellow path leading out of the door which wasn't there before, smoke has ceased to come from chimney, yet sun is still out, brighter than before.

COMMENTS.
Kids are forced to go to bed much too early for there not to be some sort of sex game which needs to be taken place between Mr. and Mrs. Little.




I'll bet my mom never considered any of that when she picked that up in the store and bought it.

I should write children's books.

05:18 pm: stole this from Aaron...haha what is it about these things that you just HAVE to know what other people will say???


1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?

09:32 pm: Well, I am as usual off to an abominable start to the new school year. My extravaganzas in trying to be on time have been nothing but disastrous all week. I guess it was too much to hope for that I might be on time to something of importance. Why should it be different from getting to work? I swear to god, I was THIS *signifies extremely small amount with thumb and forefinger* close to being on time today. But no, my efforts were futile.

We got these stupid agenda books that serve as hall passes. They also have about 50 unnecessary pages relating to the importance of teamwork, which I foolishly folded in opposite directions causing my agenda to be inflamed and thick, and not at all convenient to carry around.

So I was ten minutes late to school on wednesday, the first day. Then thursday I was only about five minutes late when I realized I had NO idea what class I had to go to first. So I stopped on the second floor and went scrounging through my bag, only to discover I didn't have my schedule with me. So after some woman thought I was a freshman and was like "Are you lost honey?" I went to guidance and was like "um, can I get another copy of my schedule?" And after she'd looked it up and printed it out and everything this woman was like "You know, you should REALLY copy that down into your agenda." Grrr. Really? I was actually considering coming down to guidance every morning for another copy because it's so pleasant talking to you ladies. (I didn't actually say that. I should have though.) Then she saw me still wearing my backpack and her eyes got all wide and she was like, "GET RID OF THAT." ANd I stared at her blankly for a second and she got all huffy and spat, "You are NOT allowed to carry those around. Put it away!" And her tone was just so blindingly annoying that I actually was like "ALRIGHT! God I just got here!" And she tsks and turns away.

So I went to put the dangerous, contaminated backpack into my locker only to realize that at this point I was about 15 minutes late, and, unwilling to walk into class unexplained on the first day of actual classes, I went back down to guidance and asked if I could have a pass. The woman got sort of offended and laughed at me and told me they don't give passes this year. So I asked where I could get one and she was like, "Well I don't know." Which was awesome. So I asked some guy that looked relatively important in the hallway and he laughed at me too, and told me he had no idea. So I went into the office and asked one of the secretaries or whatever their official position is how I sign in late and she was like, "Oh, I don't know, I'll go find Mr. Wood," who was clearly in the hall right next to her, but she went into some distant room. Then this woman comes up to me from behind the desk brandishing a bottle of glue in one hand and a strap/buckle thing in the other and goes, "UM, I have a shoe emergency here, and you want to SIGN IN LATE?!" I just stared at her blankly, finally determined that she was actually serious, and said, "well, yeah, I mean can I do that please?" And she just turned around because at that moment Mr. Wood came bursting onto the scene, shouting to me about being late on the second day, saying something that was supposed to be funny but was in actuality somewhat hurtful, and signed my "agenda." Then he was like, "I mean you don't really need to sign in late this early in the year!" And I thought, oh. Cool. Goodbye.

I went to class and felt like an idiot fumbling through my agenda to find the page where Mr. Wood had signed it, and the class was kind of snickering at me, and then the teacher's just like, "Oh! That's okay, have a seat, I didn't even take attendance yet!" Gah.

Anyway then on Friday I just blatantly missed school all together. The night before I had been complaining to my dad about this crazy thing that's going on with my back and being all painful, and he told me to talk to my mom about it. I left a note for my mom saying that my brother was spending the night at his friends apartment and said to call. So when she got home from work it was around midnight, and my dad woke up a little bit and heard her on the phone and thought it was morning and that she was calling me out of school because I'd told her about my back. Then in the morning I woke up before my alarm and it was too early, but I thought my alarm had gone off and I got up half awake to set it for another hour or something but I held it down way too long and went back to bed. My mom comes into my room at 11:30 and is like, "What the hell are you doing here?! Why aren't you in school?!?!" Gah.

I made a fool of myself yesterday at work. This semi-old couple didn't pay for their order and I had to run after them before they got out the door. They were surprisingly fast walking for old people. Semi-old people. Anyway everyone was staring at me as I was like bounding down the aisle flailing my arms. Laura told me I was unemotional because when they walked away I just stood there and said, "Why are you leaving when you haven't paid yet." And walked around the register casually. She said she would have been jumping up and down on her register and yelling, and that mental image provided me with at least an hour's worth of entertainment.

I went to my cousins baby shower on saturday and had what was probably the least amount of fun at a social event that I have ever had. It was hot, stuffy, and vastly uninteresting. You should have seen the pile, no, the MOUNTAIN, no, the entirely hidden WALL behind the mountain, of presents. Unbelievable. It's ridiculous when you think about it, the kid's only gonna be a baby for like, two years, and then what do you do with all this crap? You know? Anwyay. It was PHENOMENALLY boring. I told my mom I wanted to drive up there by myself because I KNEW this situation would happen where I desperately wanted to leave and couldn't. But she was like, no, it would be better if you went with Monica and Tola (my aunt and cousin). Ugh. After the three hour's worth of opening presents was over I wanted to leave badly enough, but I had to wait for her to socialize for another two hours. Gah.

But I played pool with Dave, Tarah, Aaron, and later Pat the other night, which was fun. Then I saw Garden State with Sarah and Becca last night because Tarah's car overheated (yes, those two situations are distantly related, I'm just too lazy to explain). Which was an awesome movie. And then this afternoon Sarah Becca and I went to lunch at the misleadingly-named China Buffet, at which there was no actualy buffet. The waitress claimed that it was only because it was a holiday, but she was obviously lying. I saw right through her. Actually I couldn't understand a word she was saying. Those crazy Chinese.

Then the three of us went cruising for about an hour finding crappy (to others) 80's pop songs on the radio and blasting them, so that when we got to red lights we could turn towards the car next to us and sing along to it over-emotionally to freak them out. It was sweet. Then I worked from 3:00 until 8:30 (it was supposed to be until 9:30 but I couldn't take it anymore and asked to leave) and had the most unbelievably horrendous time at work ever. I hate cashiering. No matter what I do later in life for a career I will be satisfied with it as long as it does NOT involve customer service. ugh. I hate it, I hate it... *leg flails in the air*

I have to do my homework now.

That is all. Goodbye.

09:29 pm: Dearest Clancy, rest in peace.

You grew up with Glenn and I like a third child. You were my other brother. Always there for me, never too busy, never too judgemental, never too tired. I'll never love another dog as much as I've loved you. No other pet will ever come close. Nobody can ever compare to you. But you're at peace now, up in puppy heaven where you're young again, with all your neighborhood doggie friends who've passed away over the years.

I just hope and pray that you left us knowing how much we all loved you, and how very much you mean to us. You were a member of this family as much as I am, and you lived a good, happy life. Of course, we spoiled you, but you were the king. You'll always be the king. You are reigning now in heaven.

I love you baby, I'll never forget you, and I thank you for all the memories you've given to this family. All the happy times we've had with you. Despite all the tears that came with your parting tonight, we are ultimately happy, and grateful, for the time that we have had with you. Nobody can ever replace you, nor will anything ever try. At least not on my watch!

All the kisses of the sun, all the hugs of the arms of the ocean, and all the love of the gods above, this I give to you. Goodbye, until we meet again. Someday when I'm gone I'll meet you up there in the sky. We'll play again someday, Clancy. You're never forgotten; you'll live forever in my heart.

Rest in peace.

12:56 am: Blah. Blah blah blahhhhhhhhhh. That's all I have to say about that. Questions? Concerns? I didn't THINK SO. Bitches.

Anyway. My life at home is pretty crap-tastic these days. As I'm sure anyone who read my last angst-ridden entry gathered. Geh. At this point I just want to get it over with. Not that I'm saying I want my dog to be gone, by any means. I would give anything, ANYTHING in this world, if it would make him okay again. But there's nothing more we can do, and he's not enjoying his life anymore and that's the bottom line. It would be selfish and painful to let him carry on, confused, not knowing what to do with himself, unable to find any enjoyment in anything. Ugh. It's all too sad. I can't talk about it.

But as I've said before, I think the very worst part of it is watching my mom be depressed about it. She's so upset I just feel like I should be upset too when I'm around her, even when I'm not. I feel wrong expressing any happiness around her these days. She's so morose. She can't even look at him without starting to cry. It's getting ridiculous. Like I said, I just want it to be over. I think it's time to let him go and start to heal.

Hmm. I must think of lighter things.

...well, I need a new lamp shade.

I hung out with Jill and Ben tonight, which was much cooler than I had anticipated. She can be so dry sometimes that I just go in with low expectations, but I seem to forget how rare those times really are. I think I have a tendency to over-associate negative experiences. For example, I recently discovered that I thoroughly enjoy baked potatoes. For years my dad has been bewildered and dumbstruck by the fact that I never have any potatoes with dinner, even though he makes them like every night. I tell him every night that I do not like potatoes, and every night he shoves one near my face and tries to coax me into eating it, which is both creepy and hilarious in retrospect, and I always refuse. But a few nights ago at dinner I was still hungry even after I ate all the vegetables, macaroni, chicken, and bread, and all that was left was a baked potato. I decided, what the heck. And as I spread that sweet, Land-O-Lakes margariny butter imitation all over the white, starchy goodness, a memory came flooding back to me of years ago. It was in a restaurant. I had been asked to choose from two or three possible side dishes, and I chose the baked potato. And when I cut it open to spread that undersized butter packet from the bowl in the middle of the table, I saw...

I...I can't, it's too painful...

But I must.

There was a green spot. Yes, an egnimatic speck of leprechaunish imperfection. But it dawned on me that just because that potato happened to be so rancid, so vile, so traumatizingly DAMAGED, my dad's potatoes are not necessarily defamed. And thus, I have a renewed outlook on life. I must stop associating small negative experiences with all possible, not-even-occured-yet positive experiences. I am not only missing out, I'm not getting my daily serving of starch. Though I do eat a lot of bread. Is that starch? I think it is. I really have no idea what I'm talking about. I failed the food pyramid exam. If there was such a thing. There's a fly on my keyboard and I almost squashed it in my vigorous typing frenzy.

Last night sucked. Except for a few hilarious moments. Including the following, which I will write robotically in the first person, funkily, to make it feel like you who are reading this are actually there:

Heather is drunk. I go upstairs for pudding. I find Heather trying to squeeze herself into the refridgerator. I laugh. I laugh. I laugh. A, a, a. Like that. I eat pudding. It is still warm and therefore unsatisfying. I suck the gasses out of the top of the whipped cream. I am dizzy. It wears off. Heather is on the floor. Heather has pudding on her face. Heather nearly has pudding in her eye. Mike runs off. Mike comes back with toilet paper roll. Mike walks by kid with lighter. Mike does not realize this. Mike yells to Heather he got something so she can clean the pudding off her face. Mike holds out roll of toilet paper. Toilet paper is flaming. Particles are flying around the kitchen which surrounding people have to drunkenly stomp out. My diaphragm contracts. My diaphragm contracts. My diaphragm contracts. My diaphragm contracts. My diaphragm contracts. My diaphragm contracts.

You know what's weird? I actually kept typing out "my diaphragm contracts" instead of just copying and pasting.

Anyway Becca's mom is getting hitched tomorrow and I have nothing to wear, as usual. Which is fascinating to all.

I have nothing else of interest to say. Goodnight. My gum is losing it's flavor. God dammit. Now I won't sleep well.